On Columbus Circle, in the Laboratorio behind the register
white-coated Dotoressas of science and physiology
mix extracts of fruits and spices
harvested from their Sicilian orchards
combining them with organic milk
flown in from Tuscany
and a few drops of San Pellegrino.
You can understand why even small amounts of GROM are expensive.
They say that late at night,
after they close,
the serious white-coated Dotoressas remove their horn-rimmed spectacles
and put aside their microscopes and loupes
and wet-and-dry bulb thermometers
They empty their pipettes
and autoclave the tongs and spatulas
and apply a few drops of Princess Marcella Borghese from the nearby Sephora
to rid themselves of the smell of vanilla from Agrigento
and turn the Laboratorio into a spa to make extra money.
New York is expensive, even when you sell ice cream at $6 a scoop.
After cleaning the giant aluminum mixing tubs
with steaming jets of distilled Pellegrino
wrapping willing customers in hot GROM sheets
as they cool down after immersion in the tubs.
have very advanced degrees from Bocconi
and say the traces of GROM
in the tubs
relieve pain and stress
and strengthen the immune system.
At 6am they shut the place and leave
tossing their lab coats into the common laundry bag.
They get a cup of coffee and a glazed at Dunkin Donuts
check their email at Fedex Kinkos
and read about the latest advances in nutrition on the GROM listserv.
Then they go home and try to sleep
before their next shift.